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04-16-2007, 05:16 PM
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weight issue brought up in a relationship?
hi all...
i've had this one experience, it was about 4 years back. that was a time when i was kind of plump and to be honest i didn't really care much about it. so many people told me that i looked real cute like that, even the guy i was dating at the time would always praise my looks and told me i looked real pretty with my curves. so i was pretty happy with my looks and my weight and never even thought of trimming down. i mean, when your guy is happy with the way you look, you think all's fine right? well anyway, we had this get-together one day and all his college friends had come along with him and he introduced me to his best friend the rest of the guys. his best friend was real nice and affectionately started calling me sister because i resembled his sis a bit. but anyway, i left him to his friends and went to hang out with my own. and you know what happens next? well the guy i'm dating, who i thought to be my loving steady bf, comes up to me and below is approximately the conversation we had: bf: cover up your ass me: what? bf: cover up your ass i said me: but why? what's wrong with it? bf: just cover it up for God's sake me: ok... but is there something wrong? i ought to know if that's the case you know bf: my friends are staring at your fat ass and asking me how the heck did i miss that ass before deciding to date you. so just f*cking cover it up me (hurting but being brave): let them think whatever they want to. you don't mind my ass right. so? bf: if they think it's fat, then it IS fat. so now just cover it up and shut up me (embarrassed, feeling damn ashamed of my fat ass, wishing the floor would open up and eat me and my fat ass... or just my fat ass): ok... bf: and make sure you cover it up each time we'll be meeting my friends. me (feeling real small despite that real fat ass): ok bf: now cover it up, how many f*cking times do i have to tell you? me (angry by then because of my real fat ass and his sick attitude): how the heck am i supposed to cover it up if it's so fat? bf: now, do it now. (so i put on my coat, it covered up my ass even if i was feeling hot and the bf walked away, back to his friends. i suppose to ask them if i looked better now with my ass covered up  .)sorry about that, it turned out pretty long but that's one thing i still remember. i mean, the way he made me feel small...  i broke up with the prick later on, don't worry  but sometimes remembering it feels like a pinch to my heart. but anyway, anyone else who had to deal with a bf or partner who would always nag about the weight? any bad dating experiences due to the weight? cheers guys and take care
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 Last edited by TarantuLies : 04-16-2007 at 07:17 PM. 
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04-17-2007, 11:04 AM
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Hi…
I understand how you must have felt when this guy said these things to you. In fact I have been through this too. Last week, my boyfriend phoned me at work and asked me to meet him. I was very busy since the deadline of a project was approaching and told him that we could meet later. Hearing this, he was very angry and told me so many abusive things that I can’t even tell you. I will never forget that he called me “fat cow”. This same person loved me so much and suddenly I didn’t expect to hear these things from him. I am heart broken and maybe I will never fall in love with someone again.
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04-17-2007, 04:05 PM
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well, do you believe me if i say i know exactly how you feel? i've been down that road. it's really painful, we wish we could get back at him or make him feel the way he made us feel. how are things going these days? are the two of you still together? if this can bring you comfort my sweet friend, i did heal. i didn't forget, but i did heal and i fell in love again. it did take it's time and it might not be easy, but i have the hope that you will heal too, just like i did. just give some time to your wounds and broken heart.
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04-18-2007, 08:03 AM
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Yes I believe you. You can understand how I felt when he said those nasty things to me because you have gone through it too. I wish I would have died before hearing those words. I felt a pain in my heart as if someone has pierced it with a knife. Well, he kept phoning me for some days and I didn’t receive any of his calls. I was so down. He sent me many messages saying that he was sorry about his behaviour and that he wanted to meet me once and make things clearer. When I met him he apologised for his behaviour and the only reason he gave me was that he had too much tension at work and he absolutely wanted to meet me on that day. Do you think that he is telling the truth? Is it true that as someone said that whatever a person says when he is angry is actually his hidden feelings for you?
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04-19-2007, 09:41 AM
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hmm, i know the feeling... i just wanted the ground to open up right then and eat me up, i was so ashamed, embarrassed and hurt at the way he had spoken to me. but mostly of his opinion about me. i realised his love was rather superficial. thank you for believing me Ava it means a lot to me. ok... well, i often say things when am angry, without really meaning them. it's just that sometimes it reaches a point where a person no more controls his/her anger but rather on the contrary, the person is being controlled by his/her anger. at this point, a person will say many things and even things that the person doesn't really mean. but it is too late, because the loved one is already hurt. so i don't believe that the things said when in anger are true things or feelings. he maybe really didn't mean it, i can't say for sure though. i usually use body language and the tone of a person's voice more to grasp the real intentions of a person. are you able to feel it when a person is being fake or acting like a hypocrite towards you? and did you ask him why he called you a fat cow of all things?
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04-24-2007, 04:05 AM
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Yes you are right. Even I do say a lot of things when I am angry but I don’t go the extent of hurting the person deeply. He called me fat cow and also told me that for someone like me my work cannot be more important than him. That bastard!! I don’t really feel it when a person is being fake or acting like a hypocrite towards me. I had never even dreamt that the person whom I loved so much will talk like this with me. I did ask him about the things he told me but he only said that he was very tensed and he doesn’t even remember what he told me in anger. God know whether he is lying or not! I’ve told him that I’ve forgiven him and that I’ll give one more chance to our relationship but I don’t have the same feeling for him now. Everything has changed. I don’t know how but it has changed. I don’t know what to do. Should I leave him or continue this relationship?
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04-29-2007, 01:44 PM
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that sucks. i hate it when people do that. get mad and yell the sh*t out of you.
i do it too sometimes. am not perfect. Quote:
i've been called b*tch, psycho, freak, manic... but i still love the people who called me all those names. amazing isn't it? not really. it's just love
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04-30-2007, 10:09 PM
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 i do kind of agree with ABADPYRO Ava. but it's up to you to decide if you want to believe your bf or not 
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 Shimmer Shimmer... There's my Lola... All it takes is a glimpse, pretty glimpse... And I shiver shiver... Yeah... Right there where you want to go.... I'm all Tempted To Lola...
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04-30-2007, 10:40 PM
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so each time they fight she'll have to bear those awful words of his?
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12-28-2007, 01:08 PM
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i know the feeling well...it's like you finally find the person of your dreams...the one person you think that can actually look past your exterior...see the real you...make you feel good about yourself...you start getting more confident..happy with yourself...
then one day they tell you what they really think...and it just shatters all of the self-confidence and good feelings about yourself that they helped build up..and you feel like a worthless, ugly piece of crap... thin or even average people don't realise how much they help overweight people by just loving them or being with them...nor do they realise how much they hurt them when they take that away.
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