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Old 04-10-2007, 04:10 AM
FatCraze FatCraze is offline
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A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he hates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
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Old 04-10-2007, 05:42 PM
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Tempted To Lola Tempted To Lola is offline
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lol...

that's pretty funny in a perv kind of way
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Old 04-11-2007, 11:01 AM
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Jack2 Jack2 is offline
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How To Lose Weight

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?", asked the doctor."
"No, from all that skipping."
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Old 04-13-2007, 06:40 AM
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Sharon8 Sharon8 is offline
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Hahaha! You mean she did rope skipping.
Hahaha! This is very funny!
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Old 04-16-2007, 07:53 AM
Orson Orson is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack2 View Post
How To Lose Weight

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?", asked the doctor."
"No, from all that skipping."
What an idiot?
But at least she lost some weight.
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Old 04-17-2007, 08:05 AM
Zwinky Zwinky is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FatCraze View Post
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he hates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Oh poor husband!
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Old 04-17-2007, 11:21 AM
Randolph Randolph is offline
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Oh no! but that’s good for the husband.
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Old 04-18-2007, 07:18 AM
Zuccala Zuccala is offline
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What a husband!
I hope that I never get such a husband.
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Old 04-19-2007, 08:07 AM
Lucky Lucky is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zuccala View Post
What a husband!
I hope that I never get such a husband.
Right Instead of thinking of ways to get rid of the thief, he is telling his wife to do everything that he asks to.
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